When you know someone enough, it’s funny how you can know so much about them and their various characteristics, and yet you can make such creative leaps in determining that they clearly mean ill to you by doing a simple gesture. Brings to mind this quote:
“When two humans have lived together for many years it usually happens that each has tones of voice and expressions of face which are almost unendurably irritating to the other. Work on that. Bring fully into the consciousness of your patient that particular lift of his mother’s eyebrows which he learned to dislike in the nursery, and let him think how much he dislikes it. Let him assume that she knows how annoying it is and does it to annoy – if you know your job he will not notice the immense improbability of the assumption. And, of course, never let him suspect that he has tones and looks which similarly annoy her. As he cannot see or hear himself, this easily managed.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
Fortunately, familiarity doesn’t have to breed contempt. The trick is to treat making sure that the familiar actions are kind and loving actions and to give people the benefit of the doubt when you suspect that they’re doing something to annoy you.
And now, you know.
Discussion ¬